Category Archives: ranting

The Trouble with Underwriters

Ohhh, crap on a flapjack! I figured things were going far too smoothly up to this point. It was only a matter of time before someone came along and popped my bubble and dropped my butt back into reality.

I covered all our bases, I had all of our ducks neatly in a row, we have spent upwards of $800 on tests and forms and inspections to avoid nasty surprises, I have researched all possible hiccups to the point where I could now teach a class on Radon mitigation or Asbestos… I have done everything humanly possible to make sure nothing bites us in the butts during the purchase of this house. Too bad it still wasn’t enough…

Last night we got an email from our lender saying the underwriter had decided that buying an awesome 1890’s beautiful brick bungalow on .5 acres of land in the center of the Loveland art scene for slightly under the market value -from family members- is somehow not a good enough reason to leave and rent out the house we’re living in right now, and so that is enough of a red flag for them to deny our primary residence loan.  Although -they ever so helpfully suggested- we could simply come up with an additional $15k and just buy it using a rental property loan if we wanted to. Oh, $15k, is that all??

this is how I feel about this
Fry gets it.

This sort of feels like trying to convince an insurance company that you actually do need that appendectomy the doctor ordered and you’re not just requesting they cut into your body for shits and grins.

*twitch…t-tw-twitch*, says Lanna’s poor little stressed out eyelid.

So, after a mini fit of fury and sobs over the fact that I never could have predicted, nor circumnavigated, an issue like this I set to work writing the rebuttal letter our lender is recommending. Though the fact that we already have a renter for the Evans house is, again, somehow still not enough evidence to show we plan on moving into the Roosevelt house [seriously?! WTF] – I added 7 other reasons we want to move into the Roosevelt house… but at this point I don’t think it’ll be of any use if having renters isn’t already proof enough.

The letter is written, the lender has double checked it and added his points that he feels will further help clarify our intentions, and we’ll sign it and submit it tonight.

And so now we wait… to be met with either chilled champagne or a guillotine. Though we won’t know which until it is 3 inches from our throats.

Frustrations Abound

Tropical Storm Sandy – they’ve dubbed her “Frankenstorm” since it’s becoming one of the biggest ones in history.

Maybe I’m just over emotional this week but it feels like any small thing that could go wrong is taking the liberty to do so. I feel like I have my own personal hurricane wreaking havoc in my world.

Just today:  the roofer never showed up to evaluate the roof of the house we’re trying to buy, the guy checking on the gas leak there never showed up either; the dishwasher in our current home is on the fritz, only working when you caress the buttons just so; I was making two beautiful quiches for dinner and after preheating our crappy oven for the typical 45 minutes it takes to heat up I noticed it was still cold so I had to inconvenience my sweet neighbor for her oven and give her one of the quiches as a thank you… and now I have half a dinner to serve an hour late and still need to figure out how to fix an oven; my feline domesticus buttholeicus ate the last living morsel off the hops plant my mom bought for Jason and me as a wedding gift; the Radon test still hasn’t arrived at the lab after a week of travel which means it’s going to be invalid if it doesn’t arrive within two days – we looked on the package to see where it’s headed and, of course, it’s headed to the East coast which is currently being pummeled by Frankenstorm Sandy and USPS may not be running on time in the area….

all this and it’s only motherbleeping Monday!

I’m off to soothe my nerves with some cozy tea, chocolate and maybe a chick flick. And even through my hormone induced tantrum I truly hope all the folks being affected by Frankenstorm Sandy are able to stay safe and dry tonight and my thoughts will be with them all. As of this writing there have been reports of +15″ of rain in areas and over 2.5 million without power so far. Yeesh.

Ciao, I miei amici-